How to Write Tear-Jerking Elopement Vows
How to Write Tear-Jerking Elopement Vows
This guide will give you some tips for writing elopement vows!
There’s so much you love about your partner - so many reasons why you’re excited to marry them, so many reasons that they’re perfect for you, and so much you’re looking forward to. But it can be so hard to put all that into words! Translating your feelings into written language is hard for most of us, but personalized vows are so much more meaningful.
Should You Write Your Own Elopement Vows?
I definitely recommend that every couple writes their own elopement vows. The generic, traditional “in sickness and in health” vows carry a good message, but they’re not unique to you, and they’ve been done so many times, at so many weddings!
Writing your own vows is so much more personal, and gives you the opportunity to really speak from the heart. Your partner will love hearing your words, and this will mean so much more to them.
What if I’m Not a Good Writer?
A lot of people worry about their writing abilities when it comes to their vows - but your partner doesn’t care how good of a writer you are, or aren’t! They just want to hear you, so no matter what, your vows will mean more to them because you wrote them. A heartfelt message is more important than being a Shakespeare-esque poet.
When to Start Writing Your Elopement Vows
I recommend getting started on your elopement vows about a month out from your ceremony. This may seem early, but you don’t necessarily have to start putting pen to paper yet - just start thinking about things you might include. Getting the gears turning and coming up with ideas early on gives you more time for inspiration to hit and more ideas to come to you.
What to Write in Your Elopement Vows
Once you’re ready to start, here are some ideas for things you can include in your vows!
Your Favorite Memories
A great way to personalize your vows is to talk about your favorite memories, or funny stories that you have with your partner. These can be significant milestones in your relationship - like stories of when you met or your first date - or they can be small moments that just stick out to you.
Your Promises
A portion of your vows should be about the promises you’re making on your wedding day. This is the original purpose of vows - the things you vow to do in your marriage. It can be anything from being the one to kill the spiders to promising to always have new adventures together.
Plans for the Future
Your story started when you met - but getting married isn’t the end of it! In your elopement vows, talk about the future, and what happens after this day. Talk about the things you’re excited for, things you want to do together, and anything that the two of you plan to do together.
Tips for Writing Your Elopement Vows
Here are some tips for writing your elopement vows - these will help with overcoming writer’s block and coming up with ideas!
Start by Brainstorming
Sometimes it’s difficult to get into writing right away - and making quick notes can be a great way to begin. You can write a bullet point list with anything and everything that comes to mind. Think about things you like about them, your favorite memories, what you’re excited for, anything! Don’t filter yourself - take this time to just brain dump. After you have some things written down, it’ll give you a clearer idea of what to talk about once you start putting the elopement vows together.
Write With Pen and Paper
Most of us write on our phones, using the Notes app - but getting out a piece of paper and physically writing can actually help you with your elopement vows! It’s a scientific fact that doing this boosts creativity. It puts you in the mindset of writing, and eliminates distractions. When you’re on your phone, there are always notifications or things to click on when you’re feeling uninspired - but using pen and paper keeps you focused.
Dedicate Time to Write Your Elopement Vows
Another way to boost your creativity is to set aside a chunk of time just for writing your elopement vows. I recommend doing an hour - take this time to only write your vows. No phones or distractions. Doing this will help you get in the right mindset, and if you’re feeling stuck or experiencing some writer’s block, don’t give up! It’s tempting to get up and do something else when we feel unmotivated or uninspired, but stick with it. This forces your brain to think about it, and you’d be surprised how ideas sometimes just hit you!
You also don’t have to do everything at the same time - maybe dedicate 30 minutes for notes, then a few days later, an hour for writing, then in a few days, come back for editing.
Don’t Edit Yourself
You should definitely edit your vows - just not until the end! Trying to rearrange sentences, replace words, and rephrase your vows while you’re writing can make it more difficult, and can actually make people feel discouraged. The best way to write elopement vows is to just write first. Let your brain do it’s thing, and write down whatever comes out. This keeps the creativity flowing, and gives you some freedom for new ideas.
Pro Tip: Once you’re done with a first draft, then you can go back and read them!
Read Them Out Loud
When you’re editing your vows, it’s so helpful to read them out loud. Our brains tend to fill in information when we read - and it’s a lot easier to spot mistakes when we speak out loud! The best way to do this is to consult someone else, like a friend or family member who can give you some tips. If you aren’t keen on sharing your vows, it’s still helpful to read out loud to yourself.
Consult Your Partner
Remember, there are no rules! So if you want to talk to your partner about your vows before the elopement, you totally can. This doesn’t have to mean sharing the details with each other, but if you’re both feeling stuck, it can help to talk about it. You can work together to come up with some ideas or an outline of how you’ll structure the vows, or even just take some time to reminisce on your favorite memories together for inspiration!
Get Vow Books
Reading your vows off your phone just isn’t the same as reading them on paper during the ceremony. While I recommend using pen and paper while you’re writing, once you’re done you’ll probably want to rewrite them without all the scribbles and edits.
Getting vow books is the best way to do this! You can find cute ones on Etsy, and they’ll look much better than a scrap piece of paper or a phone. It also gives you a keepsake from the elopement day, so you can keep the vows in a safe place!
Vow books also look much better in photos - your elopement photographer will thank you!
